There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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