He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
