She is in my trunk
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
