My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
