ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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