Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize