Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
