i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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