i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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