Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize