Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
