So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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