Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
