At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
