You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
