Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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