His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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