dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
