My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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