weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
