I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
