Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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