I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
