Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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