I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
