man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
