Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
