She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize