The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
