Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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