? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
