if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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