Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize