you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
