U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
