you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
did i just pee glitter
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