Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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