The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize