I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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