I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I understand Curling. That high.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
