i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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