he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
