You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
