you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
