fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
