Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no, he came in my armpit
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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