he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
