You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
