I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
