Apparently you make a good broom.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
