You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize