her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
