Porn is love you can see.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
