Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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