24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
