Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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