it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
