I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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