I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
