i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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