i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
