Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
