marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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