That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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