there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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