Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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