We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
